


For Now

by scottmcniceass



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-21
Updated: 2012-11-21
Packaged: 2017-11-19 04:16:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/568990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scottmcniceass/pseuds/scottmcniceass
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Derek had been a gawky, awkward teenager. He wasn't popular, he didn't have friends, and he'd never had a girlfriend. At least, until he met Kate Argent. After that, everything in his life changed. Most of it, not for the better.</p>
            </blockquote>





	For Now

Derek wasn’t exactly unpopular. People didn’t pick on him, or make fun of him. Though that was most likely due to Laura. Laura was pretty and popular and no one screwed with her so, by extension, no one screwed with Derek.

But the fact that no one picked on him did not mean that he had an abundance of friends. Or any friends, actually. Derek was tall and thin and he hadn’t grown into his body properly. You could see it in the way he walked, or moved, that he wasn’t comfortable in his own skin.

Growing up in a family of werewolves had made normal social interactions nearly impossible for him. He didn’t know how to act properly in front of normal people, people who had no idea that werewolves existed. Making friends was impossible.

Until Kate.

“I’m just stopping to have a quick coffee with my friends.” Laura said as she pulled up into the parking lot of Coffee and Cream. “You can sit in the car or you can, oh, I don’t, actually come in and act like a normal person?” She teased.

Derek shook his head. “I’ll stay here.”

Laura sighed deeply and got out of the car. He thought that was it, end of conversation until, his door was pulled open and Laura roughly grabbed his arm and tugged him from the vehicle. “You’re coming in.”

Derek longed for the day when he would be older, bigger, stronger. Then, his sister wouldn’t be able to drag him wherever she wanted.

For now, though, he just sighed and allowed her to pull him inside the too warm and too loud coffee shop.

“Order something.” Laura hissed in his ear. “I’ve got to go to the bathroom.”

Derek shuffled into line behind a pair of chattering girls and pulled money out of his pocket. When he got to the counter he had no idea what to order and just stood there for a second, mind blank.

“He’ll have a caramel mocha and a biscotti.” A female voice said from right beside him. “I’ll take the same.”

Derek looked at her, not sure if he should thank her or ask her what the hell she was doing. He didn’t get any words out, though.

The girl was gorgeous. She had to of been older then him, by a couple years at least, and she had a confident smile on her face. “You can pay me back by paying for my drink.” She said, her smile widening.

Derek handed a couple bills to the barista, who looked annoyed. When she returned with his drink and the biscotti, whatever the heck that was, she had a tight lipped smile on her face.

“Thanks,” Derek said quickly, turning around. He was going to kill Laura for this.

“Mind if I sit down?” The girl who had ordered for him asked as Derek settled into a free table in the corner of the room.

“You want to?” Derek blurted before he could stop himself.

“Do you want me to?” The girl countered, sliding into the seat opposite him before he could answer. That was probably good, because he would have ended up saying something really stupid. “I’m Kate.” She said suddenly, extending her hand.

Derek took it in his, enjoying the fact that her hand felt small and soft in his larger one. “I’m Derek.”

“Nice to meet you, Derek.” She said after pulling her hand back. “So, I’ve never seen you here before?”

“My sister dragged me here.” He admitted.

“Your sister?” Kate repeated, tilting her head. He hair, a golden brown colour, spilled over her shoulders. “Where is she?”

“Bathroom, I think.” Derek said, taking a sip of his drink. “She should be out here soon.” He admitted, and he actually wished she would never come out of the bathroom because he didn’t want her to interrupt his conversation with Kate.

Kate nodded and pulled her purse onto the table. She pulled out a pen and paper and quickly scribbled something on it. “I’ve really got to go.” She said quickly, sliding the paper over to him. “But you should call me sometime.”

Derek blinked, taken aback by the sudden turn of events. “You’re going?”

Kate smiled. “I’ve got to get home.” She told him, standing up. “I’ll see you around, Derek Hale.”

Derek watched her go, a goofy smile on his face. He was never going to get mad at Laura for dragging him anywhere ever again.

When she was out the door he looked down at the number, still not believing that that had just happened. He was too excited to realize that he had never told Kate his last name.

 

\--

 

For some reason, Derek didn’t tell Laura about Kate. He wanted her to be his secret, something no one else could ruin for him.

He called her two nights later. He’d wanted to call that night, right when he got home, but he realized that would seem too eager and he didn’t want to screw things up. His palms were sweating and he had stammered a bit when they talked, but miraculously, Kate had agreed when he asked her out on a date.

It was perfect. _She_ was perfect. Funny, and sweet, but witty and fun. She acted like _she_ was the lucky one, like knowing Derek was something special, which he knew it wasn’t. She was special. Especially to him.

He wasn’t sure if it had happened when he first met her, or it had gradually happened during all their time spent together, but Derek was in love with her. He was ridiculously, completely in love with Kate. And, it seemed, she was somehow, impossibly, in love with him, too.

“I want to introduce you to my parents.” Derek said on night, months after their initial meeting. He was laying in Kate’s bed, his clothes on the floor. She was draped over him, her arm thrown around his scrawny waist.

“Not yet,” Kate said quickly, eyes widening. “I mean, what if they hate me? Or want us to break up? I’m older than you, Derek. Not everyone would approve of-- this…”

Derek kissed the top of her head. “I don’t care what anyone says. I love you. That’s all that matters.”

Kate smiled up at him and pressed a kiss to his nose. “Love you.”

 

\--

 

Who ever said love is blind was right. Derek should have seen the signs. He should have known. He should have _realized_. But he hadn’t. He had been too distracted by Kate and the way she made him feel, like he was special and cool and attractive and smart and strong. But he wasn’t any of those things. He was weak. He was worthless. He was stupid.

Laura was crying in the shower. Even over the sound of the fan and the water running, he could hear it. The hotel room was too small to mask the sound of her sobs.

Derek felt like crying, too, but he couldn’t. The tears wouldn’t come. He was numb.

Destroyed. That’s what he was. Just like his family, his home, his _everything_. And he had no one to blame but himself.

He wanted nothing more then to tell Laura everything. To tell her what he knew about Kate, about her family. That it was his fucking fault that everything had been taken away from them. But he couldn’t. Laura was al he had left now. She would hate him if she knew, and he needed her. Needed her more than anything.

“We’ll be okay.” Laura said softly from where she stood in the bathroom doorway. He hadn’t even noticed the water turn off, or the door open.

Laura padded towards him in a pair of pyjama pants they’d bough ten at Wal-mart when they’d first entered town, and a bath robe. She sat beside him on the bed and put an arm around him.

“You’ll be okay.” She promised.

But he wouldn’t. Not ever.

 

\--

 

He wasn’t sure exactly when it started, but as soon as they settled into a new city, Derek had started working out. He ran everyday, for hours, until his lungs burned and his legs ached. He lifted weights, building muscles in his arms and chest.

Laura was all he had left and he was going to do everything in his power to protect her. Laura had always done her best to protect him. Now it was his turn.

He grew up in the years after the fire. He was no longer scrawny and awkward, but strong and fast.

It wasn’t enough.

He found Laura’s body-- parts of it-- in the woods near their house. They never should have came back. He shouldn’t have _let_ her come back, not without him. He should have been there. He should have protected her!

But he couldn’t protect her. He couldn’t protect anyone.

He buried Laura beside their house, right next to the tree that she’d planted when she was ten and wanted to be a gardener. She loved that tree.

That tree was kind of like Derek, he mused as he stood beside the freshly covered grave It started off small and thin, and now it was huge, hulking, strong. Derek wanted to take an axe to it.

 

\--

 

Derek hated Stiles. The kid was annoying, too smart for his own good. Spastic and reckless.

He was also loyal and reliable. Strong, despite his small size. Brave.

Yeah, he hated him. Hated the fact that he got under Derek’s skin. The fact that he reminded Derek of him when he was younger, before he came into himself. But he was also vastly different from younger Derek, too. He would never have made the mistakes he had, Derek knew. Stiles always looked at the bigger picture, noticed things other people didn’t.

Which is why he shouldn’t have been surprised when Stiles realized things about him, too.

“You think you’re weak.” He spat at Derek. Derek had him pressed against a wall. He couldn’t even remember why. Somehow, he and Stiles’ conversations always ended with Stiles being shoved or slammed into something. “That’s why you’re always flashing your fangs and throwing your strength around. You’re trying to hide the fact that you’re _scared_.”

“Scared?” Derek shot back, raising his eyebrows, smirking. “You think I’m scared of you.”

Stiles laughed bitterly. “Not me. Yourself. You’re scared of yourself.”

Derek let him go then. “You come near my house again and I _will_  tear you apart.” Derek threatened, turning his back on Stiles. That didn’t stop him from hearing Stiles’ disbelieving snort.

 

\--

 

The first time Stiles kissed him, he’d been too shocked to do anything else. When was the last time someone had touched him like that? Oh, yeah. Kate.

He had pushed Stiles away after that thought.

The second time, he shoved Stiles away harder. The other boy stumbled and nearly fell before narrowing his eyes at Derek and clenching his hands into fists. He’d yelled some, too. Called Derek a coward. Derek didn’t really care.

If he was being honest to himself, he knew he liked Stiles. That stupid, annoying kid had somehow wormed his way into every part of Derek’s life. And he had liked kissing him, too. The feel of Stiles’ body pressed against his briefly

He wouldn’t allow himself that, though. And he wouldn’t do to Stiles what Kate had done to him.

 

\--

 

Kate was dead. That should have made him happy. Made him feel better, at least. The person responsible for all the heartache in his life was dead.

But no, that wasn’t right, was it? She wasn’t the only one responsible. He was as much to blame as her.

All he felt, looking at her grave stone from far away as the rest of her family surrounded it, mourning her death, was cold. Like he couldn’t get warm ever again, and he didn’t mind it, really. The aching pain in his body was better than the other pains. The ones he got when he thought of Laura, or his mom, or--,

Derek turned away from the funeral. He didn’t mourn her. He was happy she was dead. She deserved it.

Why did that only feel half-true?

“So that’s it, isn’t it?” Stiles asked.

Derek whirled, surprised to realize that Stiles had managed to sneak up on him. Stiles had a knowing look on his face, half horrified, half shocked.

Derek didn’t have the energy to deal with him at that moment. He turned and started to head through the woods towards his house. Stiles followed.

“You and Kate,” Stiles called after him, slightly breathless. “That’s why you are the way that you are.”

Derek resisted the urge to change and drop to all fours to run from him. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.” He said gruffly.

Stiles snorted and Derek heard the distinct sound of him tripping. “You know, not everyone is going to hurt you, Derek.”

“I know they’re not.” Derek agreed, shoving his hands into the pockets of his jacket.

“So then--,”

Before he could finish the sentence, Derek had stopped, whirled, and moved forward, his hand wrapping around Stiles’ throat. Stiles’ heart beat increased rapidly, and his breathing turned shallow, just for a moment. Then, he calmed and almost relaxed into the touch.

“Come on, Derek, we both know you’re not going to hurt me.” Stiles said, trying to sound exasperated, but he struggled to do so.

“You think the only way I can hurt you is physically?” Derek demanded, letting his hand drop.

Stiles shrugged. “Maybe, maybe not. We’ll never find out of you don’t just give it a _chance_.”

Derek finally allowed himself to ask the question that had been going through his mind for so long now. “Why?”

Stiles shifted his feet uncomfortably. “I don’t know,” he shrugged. “Maybe because I think you’re hot, and you’re kind of an asshole, most of the time, but you’re also kind of a good person, you know, underneath it all. And I think that you need someone, and I have no idea why, but for some reason I really want to be that person. For you.”

Derek sighed deeply. The issue was that he kind of wanted Stiles to be that person, too, but he couldn’t just let him. Couldn’t just let someone else into his life that easily, because people left or were taken away from him all the time, and he didn’t know if he could deal with anymore loss.

“Just leave me alone, Stiles.” He said after a few moments of Stiles.

Stiles looked wounded but he didn’t get angry this time. “For now, or for good?” He asked.

Derek noted all the ways Stiles tried to act indifferent, noted the way the masks were thrown up, the brave face put on. His hands at his sides clenched and unclenched, and his cheeks were flushed red. Derek wanted to put an arm around him, to comfort him somehow, but he just couldn’t.

“For now.” He said finally.

And Stiles grinned. “For now.” He repeated.

Derek knew it wouldn’t be the end of this. That they’d probably have a similar conversation, over and over, until Derek finally gave in. And he would give in, one day. Just not now.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry. I really don't know exactly what this is. Sometimes I just write without really thinking and this is what happened.


End file.
